The Pregnancy Test

In the spring I caught a little bug. Some would call it little, my husband considered it a "you are crazy, what are you thinking?" bug. I was struck with the desire to get pregnant. I wanted to experience the wonder of life growing in me one more time. I wanted one more child to throw our family of four out of balance. Jeff was not on board with this desire. I didn't blame him. He is the guy in the trenches. He commits his every day to the enormous task of raising and training our girls to be the people that we want them to be. He keeps the house clean and prepares our every meal. From my perspective, carrying a baby is the easy part. Caring for and adding a new person to our family is not a decision to be taken lightly.

I yielded my desire to have another child to Jeff's desire for sanity. I did this happily and with full trust that if a family of five was in God's plan for us, God would make it happen. So I patiently waited, content with the outcome whatever it may be.

In July, Jeff's said the words that my heart was eager to hear. He wanted a baby. He felt confident in his ability to manage all the chaos that a baby would bring, ready for the adventure.

So here we are three months later. Three pregnancy tests later. God has called me to be patient once again. Our first two babies were conceived within a month of the notion crossing our minds. This time it was not so easy, but we trusted - confident that God's timing is perfect.

In October we got the answer we wanted. Our baby is growing. Our family is growing. Our love and fears and hopes grow right along with it. God willing, in June we will welcome a new member to our family. God willing.

Our Week - Halloween Edition

Enjoying a healthy snack
party #1

Bobbing for donuts
party #1

Face painting
party #2

Fun and smiles
party #2

Almost ready to Trick or Treat outfit number 1
the main event

Tickles make everything better
the main event

I wonder if anyone is home
the main event

Going home
the main event

How far does a dollar go these days?

The Dollar Store is a great place. Some of the merchandise is junk and not worth it, but other items, like toothpaste or a 2-pack of toothbrushes are well worth it. The nice thing about the dollar store is you don't need the cashier to tell you how much your total is going to be. If you have one item it will cost you $1.08. Two items cost $2.16, etcetera.

Jeff and I stood in line with our one item chatting about my day at work and what movie we were going to see that evening. When we got to the cashier I pulled out my wallet and Jeff grabbed a handful of change from his pocket. For those of you who carry cash, you know the art of getting rid of change is a priority. No one wants to carry around pennies, nickles and dimes. Both Jeff and I were laden with change that we were eager to get rid of.

Jeff's solution was that we split the total cost. Jeff put down two quarters, a nickle and three pennies. I contributed two quarters. When we got outside with our purchase I was giggling. "Do you realize that we just went dutch on a pregnancy test?"

It was amusing to speculate about how the people in the store might of perceived us. They had no idea that we've been married for eleven years with two kids at home. By all appearances we were out on a date and needed to stop at the store first. Did they think that my boyfriend was chivalrous for helping pay for my pregnancy test, or did they think he was a louse for making me come up with fifty cents. Maybe they thinking, much like you, "Wow, you can get a pregnancy test at the dollar store? What a great deal! I wonder if they are accurate."

Why yes, they are accurate. I have spent $3.24 on them over the last several months and they have been right every single time.

Today I clicked a button

Two buttons in fact. The first button marked my re-emergence into the world of blogging. The second published a post that had been sitting dusty in my drafts since July. You won't find it here on top. It is with the July posts as it should be. Oh... Did I say posts. Silly me. What I should have said is now I have a July post.

So what is this button that I pushed that will push me back into blogging? NaBloPoMo Basically I am committing to post once a day for the month of November. For those people (Hi Mom) who have been checking in here only to find a stale abandoned blog, this should be a real treat for you. For the rest of you, I hope you stay tuned, because I have some big news that could result in some fun and interesting posts. See you on Saturday November 1st.

Look Mom! No training wheels.

It started with Ariel. Ariel who just turned 3. Ariel who gave up her tricycle for a big girl bike less then a month ago. She wanted her training wheels off. At first we dismissed the idea, and then I said, "Why not?"

Jeff brought out the tools and went to work on her bike. At first Belle showed little interest in riding her bike without training wheels. She watched Ariel as she teetered and balanced. She watched her little sister do something for the first time, something Belle was not ready to try yet. It didn't take long before Belle wanted her training wheels off too.


One thing I learned today is that Jeff is an excellent teacher. The girls wanted their Daddy. They prefer Jeff's strong support, technique that keeps them balanced, and the soothing way in which he instructs them. Jeff was a superstar today. He gave each of the girls his loving support and attention. I watched as their apprehension turned to pure joy. The joy of growing up. The joy of freedom.


By the end of the day the training wheels were back on both of their bikes. I think they enjoyed the experience, but love the speed and stability that comes with training wheels even more.

Ironically both girls crashed their bikes in the late afternoon when their training wheels were back on. Ariel ran into a mail box, but absorbed most of the impact with her helmet. Belle tipped over and skinned both her knees. It goes to show - bike safety has less to do with training wheels and everything to do with watching where you are going.

To my baby on your birthday

My precious baby, born on the 4th of July.

You arrived late. Four days late. What I perceived about you as I waited those extra days proved to be true. People thought I was crazy when I told them that you did not want to come out. They smiled sympathetically when I explained that you were moving up closer to my heart instead of towards the exit. All this was true, and after you arrived I learned that you liked to be snuggled close to my heart but at bedtime you wanted to left alone. As a baby you would snuggle in your crib contently only to cry in discomfort when I tried to ruffle your hair one last time before leaving you. Even today you grimace and squirm when I kiss you while you are sleeping. You are a girl who knows what she likes and prefers things to be the way you like them. I get that. I respect that. I am like that too.

You try to do things by yourself, even if it ends up not working out the way you planned. You are persistent in your efforts and don't give up until you have succeeded or worked yourself into an impossible situation. Someday I will tell you about the time I tried to lift a 40 pound bag of potting soil into my Home Depot cart only to fall over backwards much to the amusement of the other shoppers. Your desire to do difficult things without assistance will never go away. Mine hasn't.

I know the secrets of your heart. I know why you tell me to go away and then scream and follow me in tears, mad that I left you. The first time it happened I was shocked and then relieved because I realized that I feel that way too sometimes. It occurred to me that I spent much of my childhood pushing away my parents only to be mad at them because they weren't there for me when I needed them. I hope we don't dance the same dance, but I know that we probably will.

I see so much of myself in you. I see other things in you that are uniquely all yours. Everything I see in you makes me beam with pride and love. Happy Birthday baby. These three years have been a wonderful adventure that I have thoroughly enjoyed. I love you with all that I am.