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A husband who takes terrific care of me and our daughters.
A babysitter who comes once a week so I can date my husband.
Daughters who allow me to see the world with wonder and newness.
A job that provides for our family while keeping me occupied and happy.
A car that runs.
A house that is warm.
Clothing that fits, for now.
A growing baby who will add so much to our lives.
Friends, old and new, who share in life with me.
A God who has bless me with all of these.
It is my favorite time of Thanksgiving day. The turkey has been consumed. The dishes are washed and put away. The children and are running around having a good time. The men are watching football.
Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday. Watching my kids play reminds me why I loved it so. Growing up, Thanksgiving was always at my house. All my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents would arrive with arms full of food. My Dad would prepare our cow pasture for a football game. I have so many fond memories of being with my family. I realize now how fortunate I was to have those Thanksgivings.
My parents have since divorced, I have moved out of state, as have my brothers. Thanksgivings
have become a smaller affair. I still strive to make Thanksgiving a day of connecting with the people we love. This year we have 9 1/2 people over at our house. 9 1/2 you ask? Yes, our tenth guest's flight got delayed. His wife is picking him up now. He missed dinner, and will arrive just in time for pies.
I am thankful for the opportunity to fill my house with a mixture of family and friends. To eat, drink and enjoy their company.
Our Home
In my last post I told you that things got a lot worse before they got better. I don't want to write about how they got worse, after all it is Thanksgiving week. Instead I want to express my gratitude for retaining the one thing I was sure I would lose, my home. This year we had two houses up for sale. The house we flipped and our home. We never wanted to sell our home. The couple of months that it was on the market went something like this:
We put a for sale sign in front of our house and said, "Okay God, our house is for sale, but we aren't going to advertise it. If you really want us to sell it you will bring someone down our street."
A couple of weeks later we hired an agent and listed the house. "Fine God, we'll advertise, but we are not going to sell it for a penny under our inflated asking price."
A month later we lowered our asking price. "Please God, just get us out of the mess. I don't care what it takes. No material possession is worth this amount of stress and heartache." A couple of weeks later someone finally made an offer on the house we flipped. In July we sold the renovated house and took our house off the market. 
I am so grateful that we were able to keep our house. Our neighbors mean so much to us. To leave this neighborhood would have been heartbreaking. Our kids have friends on this street. The stay at home moms on the street embrace and support my husband in his role as a stay at home dad. I am thankful everyday that I get to drive down this street and call it my home.
A look at last year - My Marriage
January 2007 – It is Monday, Jeff is taking the day off from flipping the house so I can go to work. I am taking a shower and trying to focus on what I need to do today. My mind keeps drifting to the argument I had with Jeff last night. The financial and emotional strain of flipping a house is pushing us apart. I told him that we are going to run out of money unless we sell the house by March. He told me that there is still so much work to be done. Why can't he get this house done?
My life is out of my control. Flipping this house is Jeff's project. He makes all the decisions while I stand by and pray for results. I don't like not being in control, especially when things are going badly. I am so mad. Mad that Jeff is working six days a week on the house and not getting anywhere. Mad that he is spending all our money. Mad at him for not being able to find a job for 3 years. Mad at him for getting fired from a very good job in the first place. Every decision that Jeff has ever made is now under my scrutiny.
And then a little voice in my head says, “Why are you blaming Jeff for everything that has gone wrong, while you praise God for everything that has gone right?” It’s a good question. I gave God all the credit for the job Jeff had in Sacramento. I attributed all our sound financial decisions to God. I thanked God for providing for our needs, regardless of where the provisions came from. Why does God get all the credit and Jeff get all the blame? Why do I assume that Jeff has a handle on the events that are out of my control? Isn't his life being turned upside down just like mine?
My bible study leader recently said, “It’s okay to be mad at God, he can take it.” So I shifted my anger. I got mad at God for this mess we were in. I ranted at God for all the things that had gone wrong. I got pissed at God that Jeff lost his job. I was furious for the lost of our financial security and for the delays on the house we were flipping. I screamed at God for putting all this pressure on my marriage. I vowed to never forgive Him if my marriage fell apart.
Two noteworthy things happened when I got mad at God. First, I didn’t get struck by lightning. Second, I wasn’t mad at my husband anymore. Instead I became sympathetic to Jeff and the challenges he was facing.
My reflection:
In 2007, Jeff and I celebrated ten happy years of marriage. My realization in the shower that morning was a significant event for me. In the months that followed our situation got much worse before it got better. We were able to face these events as a team, supportive of one another. I am thankful for that.
What have you learned that has significantly affected the way your relate to your loved ones?
