Cruising the Blogosphere

Figuring out all the intricacies of blogging is a challenge. I started blogging last week. My goal was to write. But I spend just as much time trying to fine tune my blog, get some traffic, and cruise the blogosphere for other blogs that are interesting to read.

At first I used the "Next Blog" tool on the Blogger Navbar to find new blogs. I found a lot of blogs that were of no interest to me, and eventually it would take me to an adult content blog. I was very disappointed in Bloggers ability to prevent this from happening even thought their policies should prevent it (see this blog for more some information). I searched for tips on how to prevent seeing these adult content sites. My search eventually lead me to a post on "I Love You Too Much" talking about Blogrush.

Blogrush requires that the blogs they syndicate meet their strict quality guidelines. I can confidently display their tool without worry that I will accidentally link to unsavory blogs from my site. Now I use Blogrush to finding other blogs that interest me. If you are interested in finding out more follow this link. http://www.blogrush.com/r21119705 It's free and they have a referral program. I'm not sure what the referral program gets me.... I just like the tool.

So now I am collecting a list of Blogs that I like to visit. I am adding them to my "Blogs I Enjoy Reading" list so I can remember to check their sites often. I am not sure what proper blog etiquette is for adding links to my site. Do I let them know that their links are on my site? What is the best way to go about this?

Blogging is so much more complicated then just writing!

Ode to the Stay-At-Home Dad

Being the stay at home parent is a job that does not end. Ever. Especially at night when everyone should be sleeping.

A couple nights ago our Firstborn came into our room at 3am asking her Dad for a pony tail. SuperDad calmly told her to go back to sleep and he would take care of it in the morning. This was after helping LittleOne go potty at some ungodly hour between midnight and 2 am.

Why is it that we could get our infants to sleep through the night at 12 weeks, but we can't get them to stay in their beds at 2 and 3 years old? I digress.

My husband is amazing. He does what some people say a man is incapable of. He provides superb care for our children, cleans (better than I ever did), grocery shops, has dinner on the table every night and has yet to run screaming from the house the minute I come home.

When I was the stay-at-home parent I had a monthly girls night out, a weekly yoga class, bible study with childcare and a babysitting swap with another mom so I could get an additional 4 hours free of children every other week. Superdad has none of those outlets. He has no other Superdad's to hang out with. He is with the kids all day, every day. Alone.

What an amazing and wonderful man I have been blessed with.

Mom working, Dad at home

The mom working, dad at home arrangement has been in effect for 6 months now. My Husband and I think about all we went through to get to this place. He says, "I wish we would of done this sooner," thinking that we could have avoided all the pain and hardship of the last couple of years.

Unfortunately, pain and hardship are sometimes a tool God uses to shape our hearts and minds for the future. God needed to turn a successful (dare I say) Prima donna sales person into a stay-at-home dad and his wife, who ALWAYS wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, into a working mom. It took 4 years, cost $140,000 and was very painful, but I'm pretty sure it was worth it.

How did we get here?

Flashback to 2003. My husband and I are living in Sacramento. I'm pregnant with our First and hate my job. I am SO ready to be a stay-at-home mom. The company that my Husband had made so much money working for was now bankrupt. We need to cut expenses in order to live on Husbands new income. Our biggest expense (other than the mortgage) is $1000 a month to BMW for 2 leased cars. When my husband's lease comes up, I insists that he get rid of his car for something more affordable (which is apparently an Audi).

In January of 2004 our First is born. My husband and I talk about moving to Washington state. Housing is less expensive, and my brother lives there. My husband is not sure if this is the right move for our family. One morning at his Men's Bible Study he asks the guys to pray about the decision to move. Something like "God, if you want me to move to Washington, give me a sign." Husband goes to work and is laid off, that morning. I'm not kidding. So this is our sign. God wants us to move to Washington.

We sell our house and a piece of property we owned in a gated community. We find a wonderful house in Vancouver. In June of 2004 we move. We have a nice nest egg to live on because we sold our house for twice what we paid for it and made a handsome profit on the property.
Husband starts looking for work. His last two jobs were in telecom, which he has come to hate. He is being selective about what he applies for. He has several promising interviews, but no job offers. This is unusual for him, he is used to getting the jobs he wants.

By March, I decide to see if Kelly Services can place me in a temp job until something comes along for my Husband. They place me with a company that needs someone 10 hours a week for bookkeeping. Oh, almost forgot, I'm now pregnant with our second. One of those not really planned, not really prevented pregnancies.

In July 2005, baby #2 is born. I'm still at my temp job. Husband is still looking for work. We think he might have an easier time getting a job if he had his college degree, also it seems that having a year of no employment on your resume is undesirable. By enrolling in classes he can fill the gap on his resume.

You may be thinking "This isn't going according to plan. God gave you a sign. Why would he send you to Washington if there is no work."

I know! I thought the same thing, many times. But when I ignore the lack of work and diminishing money I realize that Washington is a great place for us. I am a happier person. I am more pleasant to be around. All the nasty, me-first, competitive tendencies that I had in California are gone. And besides, we only spent $40,000 of our savings in the first year.
It was worth the investment.

To Be Continued.......

Little Miss Personality

The genetic combination of my husband and I resulted in beautiful children who don't look like either of us. We often fail to determine who's nose they have or who's lips. Before we had kids, we thought we would know right away who the children resembled by their hair. My husband was bald until he was 2 years old, I was born with a elaborate head of hair. Our children have neither. They have a moderate amount of unremarkable hair. Go figure.

I have a much easier time finding which personality traits the kids have inherited from us. Our little one has taken after me in the most amusing way. She is independent and determined. This is how I describe her. My Mom described these traits in me a little differently, she called it strong-willed.

The words strong-willed still make me cringe. In my experience the term sums up everything that is wrong with a child and needs to be changed. Take it from me, the last thing you are going to do with a strong-willed child is change them.

My little one isn't strong-willed. She is determined, independent and 2 years old. So, I listen to her insistent words "I do it myself.", and I let her try. Last night she wanted to put her pajama's on herself. It was a complicated task complete with buttons. Whenever I would come into her room to check her progress, she would turn her back to me and mutter "I do it myself." And she did. The buttons weren't in the right holes. But she got the idea. When she was done I was impressed and she was proud. Those are moments worth being patient for.

12 Years of Dating, and this is what I get.

I have to extend my gratitude to Brad and Paulette, who gave my boyfriend and I the best advice in 1995.

"Have a date night," they told us. "It doesn't matter how much you spend or what you do. Just do it every week, and on the same day each week."

So we did. The boyfriend became my husband 2 years later. We kept having our date night. 8 years after that my husband became a father and I became mother. Date nights haven't stopped.

In the beginning we were poor. Our date night was Tuesday. I remember this because it was "Tightwad Tuesday" at the Birdcage Cinemas, where we could watch a movie for $4.

Years later we were DINKs in the middle of the dot-com boom. Money was not an issue. We would have Sushi at Mikuni's, and then walk over to the movies. We'd go to Arco Arena and watch the Sacramento Kings play from fabulous seats.

Our time as DINKs ended and the adventuresome NIWK (no income with kids) era began. This era began with a baby, followed shortly by moving to a new state and the inability to find work, followed by another baby. Luckily NIWK transitioned to the more common single income with kids lifestyle that we now enjoy.

Money has been tight. The addition of children has caused the cost of of date night to increase substantially. We have made a lot of changes to our spending over the years but date night has never been compromised.

The keys to our success in keeping date night going are these:

1. Years developing the the habit of having a date night.
2. Having a "family" date night when our babysitter is not available.
   
3. Finding a babysitter who comes every week and charges us a reasonable rate (Thank you Lydia!)

Last night I had a wonderful date with my husband. Lydia arrived at 6:30. My husband and I pooled our resources to come up with $28. We made plans to be home by 8:30, so we would only need $12 for babysitting. Then we went to Albertsons to rent a movie. They have a redbox so the movie cost us $1. We went out to our car and tried to figure out how to spend the next hour and half before we were expected home. Husband suggested drinks. I was of the opinion that drinks would end up costing us more that the $15 we had remaining, and we were likely to loose track of time and need to pay the babysitter for an extra hour. We decided to go BACK into Albertsons for beer. The selection wasn't great and our tastes in beers differ (He likes hops, I hate hops), but we were able to settle on Henry Weinhard's Belgium Style Wheat ($9 for a case).

Next we went to the Vancouver Mall where we returned a pair of tights at Gymboree, tried on boots at Nordstroms and had a Cinnabon($4) (Husband's reward for letting me try on boots). At 8:30 we returned home. The kids were asleep! We paid the babysitter, put The Pursuit of Happyness in the DVD player and drank our beer.

I love date night!

I'm Blogging Now

I've decided to start blogging. I could tell you that I want to capture my memories and thoughts so I can read them again someday. But here is the real reason....I want my children to know what kind of person I really am, and how much I adore them.

I'm afraid (due to my own childhood trauma that I PROMISE not to go into) that my children will grow up not knowing how much I truly love them. I'm afraid that they will remember the times I was frustrated with them or disciplining them and forget the fun times, like when I let them style my hair.
Isn't it fabulous!

Right now, I am trying to keep myself away from the Halloween candy. Since Halloween was last week, the majority of the remaining candy is technically my children's, and 100% of the "good" candy is theirs. All that remains for me is the trick-or-treaters' rejects. So mostly suckers and sweet tarts. I have nothing against suckers and sweet tarts, but I CRAVE chocolate. So I have been putting suckers and sweet tarts into my children's trick or treat bags in exchange for the mini candy bars. I don't feel too bad about it because according to the National Confectioners Association, 90 percent of parents admit to stealing candy from their children’s trick-or-treat bags. And what I am doing is not stealing, it is simply a matter of trading.

Now I can imagine my kids reading this in 10 years and questioning my love for them, so this is what I have to say to my sweethearts: The first candies that I thoughtfully removed from your bags were Milk Duds and other potential choking hazards. Then, I noticed that when asked to choose 1 piece of candy from your trick-or-treat bag, one of you picks suckers and the other likes the chewy sweet tarts. So, I am giving you more of what you really like.
See how much Mommy loves you!