This week my company is exhibiting at a trade show, which means lots of coordinating, standing around and long days for me. Jeff and the girls will see less of me. I want to make sure that the time I have at home is focused on them, so I am not going to be blogging or reading blogs this week.
In my absence, I am requesting your help. Parenting is hard work best accomplished when parents discuss what they are facing and find out what has worked for other families. This week I would like to turn my blog over to you. There are some areas that Jeff and I are struggling with and we need to know what works. I am going to list out our troubles and ask for your comments. I am turning off comment moderation so that Jeff can read all your comments while I am busy at the trade show.
If you want to write a post on one of these subjects (or have already wrote a post) please provide your link in the comments.
1. Tips for getting kids out of the house in a timely fashion. The girls tend to drag their feet when it comes to getting on tights, socks and shoes.
2. Sharing - one of our children throws a royal fit when a child picks up a toy that she has played with in the last 2 hours. She insists that it is hers even thought she is well into playing with something else. Her actions recently warranted a call to Jeff to come get her from a play date.
3. Listening and obeying - We tend to get a full commentary on why something can't, shouldn't or won't be done before the child even attempts getting the requested item done.
In lieu of advice, commiseration is happily accepted.
Thanks so much for your help.
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Monday, March 10, 2008
Tips and Tricks from my readers.
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21 comments:
Out of the house... Set the clocks ahead 10 minutes after they go to bed. Then get up ten minutes early. You just gained 20 minutes, but they think it's only 10. Till they find out the truth. Sometimes, I just slap their clothes on them to wake them up, by the time they are awake enough to fight back, they are dressed. If they are really little, they will probably just take the clothes off again. If they already know you will take them to the car without clothes on, they will usually at least throw them on at the front porch.
The sharing thing. Time will cure this. Unless the person is already 9 or something. Taking the child to another spot to cool off until they will share or just removing the item may work after a million times.
What were the other ones? The brain is too fried to remember.
Jordan picks out all of her clothes for the week on sunday night (after reviewing weather.com, which is kind of fun for her)this includes socks/tights and shoes. she has a hanging sweater rack in her closet with 6 cubbies. mon-fri and a "just incase" cubby for a weather change or mind change. she can only choose from the clothing picked out on Sunday evening. it has SERIOUSLY changed our lives. mornings use to be super stressful, now they are VERY pleasant....small change, HUGE difference.
as for sharing...i am not a huge fan of making kids share. HOWEVER i think the best way to teach and encourage them to share is to teach the child wanting the "coveted toy" to say, "when you are done playing with that can i have a turn?" it has been my experience that given a choice of "when" to turn a toy over the child will give it sooner rather than later. ALSO the child asking will learn that they WILL eventually get a turn and find something else to play with in the meantime.
this reminds me, i also never make a child say they are sorry. i will simply point out that they hurt thier friend or bro/sis by saying, "wow you really hurt them, they are crying" followed by a question, "is there anything you can think of to make them feel better?" this gets rid of that whole "punch, SORRY and run" thing kids seem to be doing these days...bizarre.
i can't remember the other question...i will go have a look-see and if it is something i feel like i can advise on i most certainly will. btw my masters is in Education with a focus on Child Development/Early Childhood Education...i don't know if you knew that...but thats where my ideas on this stuff were formed, incase you were curious.
(looks like i wasn't the only one who forgot...lol)
I don't know if I can be much help on some of those-you'd think after 4 kids I'd be a pro, but I have more questions now than ever.
With the play date thing, if someone is behaving badly outside my home, they don't get to go. The trauma of a sibling going is usually enough to remedy behavior.
And if one of my kids has a toy he doesn't want to share, fine. He can't have all his toys special, just one or two.
Not everything is fair in gremlin land.
Good questions... I will come back and help you out.
In the meantime, enjoy your time off from blogging!
I'm going to be all over your comments section for the next few days - we have these problems at my house, too, and I haven't found great solutions for them yet.
Bring it on, people!
Ummmmmm. Last one to the car is a rotten egg!???
Getting your kids to listen - My sister and her husband do something really simple and great. Everytime they ask something from they kids. THey look back and them and say "Now what did I just ask" of "what did I just tell you to do" and they repeat it. Everytime they tell them something they make sure they heard it. And if they still don't do it then they got punished and the kids can't blaim them that they didn't know.
the listening and obeying thing...we just started a swear chart but, listening and obeying is on the rule list, too!! if we have to say something more than once, the offending child gets a tally mark next to the appropriate name. at the end of the week, that child has to give a quarter for each tally mark received!
i'm still working on getting out of the house in a timely manner. not going so well for me, either!!
neither is the sharing issue. the big kids, they are worse than my youngest one. i think i might have to put the sharing thing on the swear chart, too!!
We do the same as thevasquez3 about setting up all the clothes on Sunday night. It works until the laundry isn't available for the whole week, but really, a couple of days of no bickering is worth it.
We also have a sweater organizer in our coat closet. Each kid puts their shoes on a shelf. No exceptions. That saves a lot of time from searching the foyer and at the bottom of the closet.
Good luck!
Hi Amy - hope you have a good week at the trade show - see you when you get back. Take care - Kellan
I've started just giving a nice reminder that we have "x" number of minutes until we leave, and if she's not ready she'll be leaving with out her "x" on. I don't give any more warnings, because sometimes I think that teaches them not to listen when we say something the first time. We've left once without shoes, which meant she couldn't go to the fun place we were planning on going...which taught her I mean business. She's been scooting a little faster ever since :)
You will be missed. I would give advice if I wasn't such a retarded mom who flies by the seat of her pants and really has no tips to share. Really!
Somehow I think we'd be adopting Lisa's technique.
We have already used "OKAY we are going NOW..." and proceeded opening the door, etc, and it's been working on a 3yr old brain, but, as we know, may not work forever...
Well first off, have a good week off. I wish I could write about sharing, but that is a tough subject at our house. I'll come back and see if I can't find some advice:)
I have no tips on any of these issues as yet. I have recently described trying to get my own children out of the house in a timely fashion as "herding cats into snowpants," so I don't think you want advice from me. But I will offer deep commiseration. Good luck!
Sounds great. I'll have to think about this one!
commiseration regrettably offered.
1. yes, 2. yes, 3. yes. I share your pain. Except for the tights. All boys.
We need to get three out the door as close to 7am as possible to get to work on time. I've found the key is to follow the same, exact routine every morning, so they know what to expect. We also offer incentives to the first one in the car. Winner gets a snack, wins a "prize", gets out first. I wouldn't say every morning goes well, but more often than not.
Another tactic you could try. Pretend you are leaving without them.
The last two take patience and constant talking and directing and showing the proper behavior. Not a magic fix, huh?
The first one--another mom told me that she had to have her kids dress in their clothes for the next day for bed. Yep, they slept in their clothes for the next day.
Me? I get up early, get me completely ready, have everything mostly ready for them, and hope. As they have gotten older I give them more to do themselves.
I'm blog hopping early because there are so many of us that I can't get to them all!--HP
my kids are young and so I haven't had to deal with many of these issues yet. I'm interested to read the comments.
~K~ is not so bad about the getting dressed. But she gets dressed way too early, and then changes her mind a hundred times. It drives me batty. But I am getting over that.
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