Flashback Friday: Growth

Today I am republishing a post from last year. This memory is one I reflect on often when I am watching my independent second born child.

Little Miss Personality
originally published Thurs Nov. 8, 2007

The genetic combination of my husband and I resulted in beautiful children who don't look like either of us. We often fail to determine who's nose they have or who's lips. Before we had kids, we thought we would know right away who the children resembled by their hair. My husband was bald until he was 2 years old, I was born with a elaborate head of hair. Our children have neither. They have a moderate amount of unremarkable hair. Go figure.

I have a much easier time finding which personality traits the kids have inherited from us. Our little one has taken after me in the most amusing way. She is independent and determined. This is how I describe her. My Mom described these traits in me a little differently, she called it strong-willed.

The words strong-willed still make me cringe. In my experience the term sums up everything that is wrong with a child and needs to be changed. Take it from me, the last thing you are going to do with a strong-willed child is change them.

My little one isn't strong-willed. She is determined, independent and 2 years old. So, I listen to her insistent words "I do it myself.", and I let her try. Last night she wanted to put her pajamas on herself. It was a complicated task complete with buttons. Whenever I would come into her room to check her progress, she would turn her back to me and mutter "I do it myself." And she did. The buttons weren't in the right holes. But she got the idea. When she was done I was impressed and she was proud. Those are moments worth being patient for.

My daughter still moves away from me when she is focused on a task and doesn't want me to intervene. Remembering back to the moment when she stubbornly buttoned her pajamas, even though I thought she was too young to do it, helps me remember that she is a growing person who's capabilities will never be realized if she isn't allowed to try. She tries even when it is inconvenient. She tries even when it is difficult. She tries even when it is messy. And by trying she learns, by learning she grows, by growing she blossoms into an independent girl that accomplishes more every day.